Word of the Moment (Fetter)

Fetter | [fet-er] | noun

1. a chain or shackle placed on the feet.

2. Usually, fetters.  Anything that confines or restrains: Boredom puts fetters upon the imagination.

verb (used with object)

3. to put fetters upon.

4. to confine; restrain.

 

Habit of Living (Part 1 of 3) "Wish not the past. Hope not the future. Live your present moment."

For many keeps on hoping to relive that once perfect moment… "The good old days." A memory in the past where everything was impeccable, where they were flawless... The present never seems to live up to that golden era; in ways, they are but a prisoner of a time that no longer exists. How can you surpass a moment that resides solely as a memory?

"Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to the truth, but not its twin." ~ Barbara Kingsolver

When one reminisces a cherished moment, we recollect everything about it that makes it ideal (from our perspective) | the smell of the room, the sound in the air, the colors of the ambiance, the rapture on our faces - building a realm that is eternally craved to our very essence. Even when our memory fades or forever disappear, somehow those moments find ways to keep us warm... becoming an image that we know not the source... and exuding into our dreams.

As people, those fond times are flawless because we make them pure; we conveniently forget any negative association to those moments (conversely, it is the same way for people haunted by anguishing situations; more on that in part 3). Those who continue to live in that once idealized past forget to move on - losing the opportunity to create something that offers joy and happiness.

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"Forgiveness is a key that unlocks one's shackles."

Some are unable to easily forgive - fettered by post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Those who endure heinous acts of rape, abuse, murder, harassment, violence, war... mental, emotional, and psychological torment clouds the psyche from ever looking at the world without towering walls.  The afflictions that wake you up drenched in sweet with wrenching pain...  Marred by the past, a scar of the mind remains - binding them to something not visibly tangible. 

Life is about trust. When trust is broken, it is nearly impossible to mend.  For, it is impossible to unfeel what you have felt; unsee what you have seen, unhear what was spoken, ignore the smell tied with a moment, to forget an ingrained memory... How can one suppress an essence that secretes from the subconscious?

"If you have a problem with someone, it isn't their problem.  It is your problem." ~ Lokman Ng

The truth that is inherent in such a statement is more profound than one may know... There really is only one way to foster us that freedom - forgiveness. Absolving someone does not merely lift the person's burden; it removes the mountain that bears down on your shoulders as well.  At times, that person may not even realize that he/she needs to be forgiven - we are the only party suffering.